Every single day, we’re bombarded with a mix of requests – big and small, formal and informal.
These demands reach us from every imaginable angle-in person, over Zoom calls, through phone conversations, emails, and instant messages. Let’s agree that the inflow of requests is so great in our lives that we can’t possibly say yes to everything.
Saying ‘No’ therefore is a life skill you need to know for self-prioritization and balance in both professional and personal lives. When you overcommit or focus on the wrong tasks, you end up wasting time, and energy, and diverting your attention from what truly matters.
A Good 'No'
Before I get into how and why you should learn to say no, you need to know that saying no is all about timing and logic.
You should say no to things that are:
–Not allowed,
-Cannot be done, or
-On balance, should not be done.
And most importantly, it’s delivered in a way that makes the person requesting respected.
Top 3 reasons why you should say NO
It’s so important to stay disciplined because when the right things come up, you want to make sure that you have the bandwidth to go ALL IN when those opportunities come your way.
- Respect Yourself: Recognise your values, goals, and well-being. Most importantly, do not compromise on what truly matters to you. This self-respect will form the foundation for saying no to distractions or commitments that don’t serve your long-term objectives.
- What You’re Trying to Accomplish: Once you have a clearer understanding of what you’re trying to accomplish, it becomes easier to identify which opportunities and activities are conducive to your goals. Be steadfast in your pursuit of these goals, even when you are faced with tempting alternatives that might lead you off-course
- Who You’re Trying to Become in Life: The vision of who you’d like to be has a deep influence on your decisions and actions. I am not advocating adhering to a set of rules, but rather consistently making choices that lead you to your ideal self. This of course becomes easy with a critical ability to say no.
Saying No in different situations
- Time Bargain:
A study found that you need to postpone deciding by 50-100 milliseconds to make a better decision when the pressure’s on. Ex: ‘I will check my schedule and will let you know.’
- Politely Decline:
If you’ve committed elsewhere or you have a more important engagement to cater to, you could politely decline the request. Ex: ‘Sorry I would love to but I have other plans.’
- Give an Alternative:
If someone is genuinely in need and you are unable to help them at the moment, you can give them an alternative. Ex: Hi, I’m not available today but I’ve asked Alix, and he’ll help you.
- Closed Body Language:
If someone’s taking an undue advantage and is crossing their boundaries, use your closed body language and firmly say NO without any explanation. In some situations, No itself is a full sentence.
Concluding thoughts..
Remember you shouldn’t bite off more than you can or should chew!
Saying Yes when not needed can help you please people but it’s a sure-shot prescription for burnout. A thoughtful refusal protects your interests, while a well-chosen yes enables you to assist others and add value.